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Shiver Me Timbers
Drive time on Radio Abel. Cast * Sam Yao * Maxine Myers * Eugene Woods * Jack Holden * Zoe Crick * Phil Cheeseman * Rachael P. Dennis Plot This Is Goodbye Sam replays a message from Radio Cabel; after recent events, they have decided that they are not going to return. They also have a vital USB. To The Docks You hear the gang getting ready to meet a successful pre-apocalypse author. It sounds like they’re heading towards the docks, so you follow suit. What's The Plan? You emerge from the woods and spot the Cabel van next to a super yacht that must belong to the author. They lower a bridge to cross a canal. Catch Up Zoe asks the author to join her on her luxury yacht, but you need that USB, and there’s not much time left. Cross-Talk You need to get close enough to the yacht to cross-talk into their equipment, alerting them to your presence. Where Are The Keys? Fortunately, the miniature sculpture containing the vital USB stick is still in their van; unfortunately, Jack has locked the van. Get That Hard Drive You heroically catch the keys thrown by Jack, but the success feels hollow as Radio Cabel sails into the sunset. Stay Safe Out There As you run home, you hear Phil welcome you to Radio Cabel’s new adventure. Transcript SAM YAO: Okay. Doc, Five, keep following that road south along the coast. That should take you to their last known location, where they sent the message from. MAXINE MYERS: But we don’t know where they’re going? SAM YAO: No. Which isn’t exactly ideal, given that the van they’re driving contains vital intel on the exact time we need to be using the ZRD in Comansys tower. When Amelia was using the Radio Cabel guys as unwitting - intel mules? Is that a thing? - Anyway, she got them to meet up with a former Comansys employee she’d done some shady deal with. Everything he knew about the ZRD in exchange for who knows what. She told Eugene he was an art collector, handing them some valuable statue for safe keeping. Only it wasn’t valuable, it was hollow, and the intel’s hidden inside, and we need it urgently. We need to know when to plug that device in and use it to block Moonchild’s mind control forever. MAXINE MYERS: Which is why Five and I are on a manhunter duty? SAM YAO: Exactly. MAXINE MYERS: Without any idea where the Radio Cabel guys are heading. SAM YAO: Exactly. MAXINE MYERS: There are no clues in the message they sent? SAM YAO: None. MAXINE MYERS: Well, maybe Five can pick up on something we missed, what with being such an avid listener. You still have it, right? SAM YAO: Oh, really? Don’t make me listen to it again, please. MAXINE MYERS: Come on, Sam. It’s important! SAM YAO: Fine. Here we go. plays JACK HOLDEN: This is a message for Sam Yao, Janine De Luca, and all those at Abel Township. This is a goodbye message to Abel. From me, and from the rest of us. Phil, Eugene, Zoe. We’re, we uh – we’re leaving - I can’t, sorry. ZOE CRICK: It’s okay. It’s okay. Let me. PHIL CHEESEMAN: It’s okay, Jack. EUGENE WOODS: We’re here. JACK HOLDEN: Fine. ZOE CRICK: Last night, we heard the news that New Canton citizens had been subjected to mind control and used to attack Abel Township. We understand that returning home isn’t an option for us anymore, that coming home wouldn’t be safe. So we’ve made a decision. We’re leaving. We don’t know where we’re going yet, but we won’t be coming back. So this is goodbye. ends MAXINE MYERS: Come on, Five. Let’s keep moving. SAM YAO: Okay, runners. They Radio Cabel posse should be somewhere around here. MAXINE MYERS: I’m not seeing much, Sam. Are you sure this is where they were? SAM YAO: Dead certain. Well, mostly dead certain. Sort of, “in the ambulance but the paramedics have given up on CPR” certain. MAXINE MYERS: And uh, when did the message come through? SAM YAO: Not long ago. About two hours. We sent the two of you out as soon as we heard it. MAXINE MYERS: Hmm. So these fresh tire tracks could be theirs? SAM YAO: Yeah, yeah, let me have a look. MAXINE MYERS: The tracks head off this way, Five. SAM YAO: Yup, yeah, follow those tracks, runners. MAXINE MYERS: On it. Say, Sam? SAM YAO: Yup? MAXINE MYERS: If they’re still in the van, do you think they might still be broadcasting? laughs I mean, they’re not exactly great at turning their equipment off. Remember that time we had to listen to five hours of Jack having dreams about scoring a century at Lord’s? SAM YAO: Maxine. Maxine, Maxine, Maxine. You are a genius! A wonderful, wonderful genius. static Signal’s been all over the place while they’ve been on the road. PHIL CHEESEMAN: How much further is it supposed to be, anyway? SAM YAO: Yeah, yep. There they are. ZOE CRICK: She said she was moored at the docks. Shouldn’t be too much further. EUGENE WOODS: I can’t believe we’re actually going to meet her! Rachel P. Dennis! PHIL CHEESEMAN: I can’t believe you’re a fan of that stuff. Laments of the World. More like laments of sex and fighting and overly long descriptions of food. ZOE CRICK: They’re popular books, Phil. And she’s a big fan of ours. I’m excited to meet her. EUGENE WOODS: Oh! Do you think she’ll tell us whether Bran Firebane ends up revenging the murder of his wife and father? Oh, wait. Do you think she’ll tell us who Lea Truesong’s real mother is? No, wait! JACK HOLDEN: Gene, you do realize we’re going to be broadcasting the entire final book, right? That’s the reason we’re going to meet her? PHIL CHEESEMAN: Not the only reason. Fresh start, new horizons, right? JACK HOLDEN: Yeah, but. Well. EUGENE WOODS: No, no, I know! I’m just – gah! I am so excited! I never, ever, ever imagined I’d get to know how it ended! When the apocalypse happened just a few months before she was supposed to deliver the final manuscript, but now – now! We’re on our way to meet her, and get the final book, and – ah! SAM YAO: Sounds like they’re heading down to the docks, and uh, is it just me, or does it sound like they’re maybe not planning to come back from the docks? MAXINE MYERS: Already on our way, Sam. SAM YAO: Head through that forest. The road winds all over the place getting down to sea level, but you can just cut straight downhill that way. There’s some zoms in the trees, but they’re well clear of the path you’ll need to take. Just be careful. MAXINE MYERS: Roger that. Come on, Five. We better catch up to them before Eugene explodes from excitement. SAM YAO: Okay, guys. You should be coming out of the woods again any second. MAXINE MYERS: Sam? I see them! There, Five, do you see? Yeah, they’ve stopped the van by that canal near the docks, and that boat there the other side of the canal? That must be the author’s. SAM YAO: The super yacht? Yeah, that’s where they’re heading. Janine was listening to the show a few days ago, and she said Rachel P. Dennis called in herself. Apparently, she’s a huge fan of the show. Wants them to broadcast the final book in her Laments of the World, so everyone will finally know how it ends. MAXINE MYERS: Count me out. I was never a fan of that series. If I wanted to read something that goes on too long, with a confusingly large cast of characters, I’d just pick up Rajit’s latest instead. SAM YAO: Oh God, I know. Right, keep moving. I’ll patch you back in to their broadcast, see if we can figure out why they’re stopped at that canal. static PHIL CHEESEMAN: Can’t we just leave the van here and walk around? JACK HOLDEN: You want to carry the mics and mixing desk and transmitter and generator all the way around this canal? PHIL CHEESEMAN: Alright, fine! What’s the plan, then? JACK HOLDEN: What about that bridge? PHIL CHEESEMAN: If you haven’t noticed, it’s currently stuck in the up position. JACK HOLDEN: Yeah, but can’t we just use the controls in that shack there, and lower it? EUGENE WOODS: Jackie boy, you star! JACK HOLDEN: Out you get. bridge beeps SAM YAO: God dammit. Zombies incoming. Out of the woods behind you. Sound of that bridge lowering has attracted them. Run! SAM YAO: Those zoms are hot on your heels, guys. Run! You’re nearly at the docks! MAXINE MYERS: We’re moving, Sam, but we need to lose them soon, or they’ll run us right into the ocean! SAM YAO: Okay, okay, uh, just uh, wait… yes! Yes. Get yourselves across that bridge. The same one the boys took their van over. You’re nearly there. If you put on a burst of speed, you should be able to cross it and get to the controls on the other side. Raise it, and you should be safe. MAXINE MYERS: On it. Come on, Five. Run! SAM YAO: You’re nearly at the bridge, Five, move! Come on, Doc, can’t raise it until you’re both across! MAXINE MYERS: Go, Five. Go! I’ll catch up. SAM YAO: Come on, Doc! You’re nearly at the bridge! Get to those controls, Five. The doc’s almost across. Get ready, Five. MAXINE MYERS: I’m clear! Five, raise the bridge! beeps, raises SAM YAO: Yes! They’re falling right into the water. MAXINE MYERS: Nice work, Five. You really saved our butts. SAM YAO: Alright. Keep moving. You’re not far from the yacht, now. Let’s see where that lot have got to. static ZOE CRICK: Well, don’t just sit there gawking, Gene. Open the door and say hello. PHIL CHEESEMAN: Miss Dennis! It’s a pleasure to meet you. RACHEL DENNIS: Mister Cheeseman, I presume? The pleasure’s all mine. This is where the magic happens, is it? I’m impressed. It’s smaller than I’d imagined. JACK HOLDEN: We do what we can with what we have. RACHEL DENNIS: You do a very fine job. Now, let’s see. You’re Jack, of course? JACK HOLDEN: At your service, ma'am. RACHEL DENNIS: And here’s Zoe. ZOE CRICK: Hello, Miss Dennis. RACHEL DENNIS: Rachel, please. And this must be Eugene Woods, in the flesh. EUGENE WOODS: Uh… JACK HOLDEN: Gene? Say hello to the nice lady. EUGENE WOODS: Hi! I’m a big fan, and I’ve read all your books, and I can’t tell you what it means to me that you made one of your characters bisexual, and I’m really really excited to find out how it all ends, and you’re really really talented! RACHEL DENNIS: Thank you, Eugene. So, should I bring the manuscript out to you, or would you like some tea first? ZOE CRICK: Actually, Rachel, we have a question we’d like to ask you first. We’d like, well, we’d like to get away from it all. To come with you on your boat, wherever it is you’re going. static MAXINE MYERS: Can’t you raise them? Tell them to stop, because they’ve got something important that we need for the future of the human race! SAM YAO: They haven’t been answering the radio since last night. I think they’re just too upset. And to be fair, they’ve got no reason to think they’d be important to the future of the world. You have to catch up with them. Run! static RACHEL DENNIS: You’d have to work for your passage, of course. JACK HOLDEN: Oh, of course! Eugene’s an excellent cook. Uh, Phil’s very handy for any repairs you might need - RACHEL DENNIS: No, no, don’t be silly. I mean, I fully expect you to continue broadcasting for the duration of our voyage. JACK HOLDEN: Oh. Well. PHIL CHEESEMAN: Yes! ZOE CRICK: Rachel, we’d love to! RACHEL DENNIS: Excellent, then it’s decided. Let’s get you all on board, then. The winds won’t be this favorable for long. static SAM YAO: You don’t have much time, runners. If they leave on that boat with Amelia’s intel, we’ll have no idea when to use Moonchild’s device on Comansys tower. MAXINE MYERS: Sam, there must be some way to contact them. Tell them to leave that sculpture behind for us! SAM YAO: No, they don’t have headsets or anything. Wait! Runners, if you get close enough, and tune your headsets to send on their frequency, we might get some crosstalk into their equipment. They might be able to hear us. MAXINE MYERS: You heard the man, Five. Move! SAM YAO: There! The boat’s only a few hundred yards away. That should be close enough for our signal to interrupt theirs. Maxine, Runner Five, retune your headsets now. I’ll, uh - snippets from other broadcasts RACHEL DENNIS: - set your equipment up quickly enough. JACK HOLDEN: Oh, we’ve had loads of practice, what with all those interviews on the road, talking to different people in different places. RACHEL DENNIS: Ah, yes. It was so nice to hear how differently everyone lives nowadays. Your piece with the people in New''' ?' - MAXINE MYERS: Jack? Jack! Come in. PHIL CHEESEMAN: What the hell? EUGENE WOODS: Maxine? MAXINE MYERS: Eugene! Thank God! Listen to me. Don’t leave yet. JACK HOLDEN: Look, we’ve made our decision, Doc. MAXINE MYERS: No, I know! I mean, just wait. Just a few minutes. There’s something we need from you first, and then you can leave. EUGENE WOODS: Oh, I - ZOE CRICK: Doctor Myers, this is Zoe. What do you need? MAXINE MYERS: Zoe! Amelia, she was - PHIL CHEESEMAN: Using our van to secretly broadcast state secrets to her cronies in the field? Yeah, we know. MAXINE MYERS: Well, yeah. But - PHIL CHEESEMAN: We were also sending back secret reports - ZOE CRICK: Phil, for God’s sake. Will you just let the woman speak? It’s obviously important. MAXINE MYERS: Thanks, Zoe. Amelia hid some important information in your van. It’s uh, part of a uh, Henry Moore miniature sculpture that a fan gave you? Once we have that, you can leave, I promise. RACHEL DENNIS: Doctor Myers, this is Rachel Dennis here. I’m afraid we’re already underway. If we don’t leave now, we might be waiting days for the right conditions. MAXINE MYERS: What? No, you can’t! We have to - EUGENE WOODS: Maxine, don’t worry. We left the sculpture in the van. I mean, we love our fans, but, well, we didn’t want to bring a twenty pound statue with us. MAXINE MYERS: Fantastic! Oh, Eugene, you are a literal lifesaver of literally everyone - JACK HOLDEN: Oh. ZOE CRICK: What is it, Jack? JACK HOLDEN: Well, I – I locked the van. ZOE CRICK: What? JACK HOLDEN: I mean, I locked the van. I didn’t want it to get stolen. EUGENE WOODS: I’m not sure car theft is a particular risk after the apocalypse, Jack. ZOE CRICK: You’ll have to break the window. JACK HOLDEN: Look, it’s in a safe in the back. ZOE CRICK: Oh, for - JACK HOLDEN: What? The guy told us it was really valuable. PHIL CHEESEMAN: Well, can’t you just cut through the metal? MAXINE MYERS: With what? The handy blowtorch that Runner Five brought? We don’t have time for this. We think Moonchild’s broadcasting her mind control signal within days, and we have to get to London. Jack, where are the keys? JACK HOLDEN: Right here. MAXINE MYERS: Okay. Get onto the top deck of that yacht, and wait for my signal. Runner Five? You’re going to make it to the end of that pier before the yacht passes it, and Jack is going to throw you the keys. Go. Run! MAXINE MYERS: Keep moving, Five. You have to level with the boat before it leaves the harbor. PHIL CHEESEMAN: You think he can make the throw? ZOE CRICK: Course he can. It’s Jack. PHIL CHEESEMAN: I don’t know. You saw him in that cricket match. ZOE CRICK: Well, if he misses, and they end up in the water, I’m jumping in myself to get them. PHIL CHEESEMAN: I thought you weren’t the action hero type, Zo. ZOE CRICK: If it’ll help free everyone back at home from that monster, I’d jump in a thousand harbors. PHIL CHEESEMAN: Yeah… I hope they’re alright. I hate leaving them like this. MAXINE MYERS: Run, Five! You’re nearly level with the boat. JACK HOLDEN: Five! Runner Five! Up here! MAXINE MYERS: Okay, Jack! Now! jingle MAXINE MYERS: Yes! Jack, you wonder! You beautiful man! What a throw! What a catch! Yes! static Sam? Sam? SAM YAO: Maxine. Oh, thank God. Tell me it’s good news. MAXINE MYERS: The USB key’s still in their van, and we just got the keys from Jack. It’s all good. SAM YAO: And they’re - ? MAXINE MYERS: They’re leaving, yeah. They’re on the yacht with Miss Dennis. SAM YAO: Right. Right. Okay. MAXINE MYERS: You okay, Sam? SAM YAO: Yeah, yeah, I just. I don’t know. I thought they’d be coming home. MAXINE MYERS: I know, Sam. I’ll miss them, too. But they’ll still have their equipment. They’re going to be broadcasting from the boat. It’ll be like they never left. SAM YAO: Yeah. Yeah. Alright. Well. I was there for their first broadcast from Abel. You can be damned sure I’m not going to miss their first broadcast from a boat. You guys run back and get that hard drive. I’m going to get them tuned in. PHIL CHEESEMAN: Listeners! Welcome! You’re joining us today as we set sail on a new adventure! ZOE CRICK: Yes, welcome. We’re now broadcasting from the Belafonte, home of the famous author, Rachel P. Dennis. She’s been kind enough to offer us passage to island of Alderney, where we plan to settle down together, at least for a while. PHIL CHEESEMAN: But don’t worry, we’re pleased to say that we’ll be continuing to transmit for a good time yet. EUGENE WOODS: We’re also pleased to announce that we’ll be broadcasting the entirety of the as-yet unreleased final volume in her Laments of the World saga. So all you fans of Lea Truesong out there, be sure to tune in nightly from eight PM to catch the latest installment. JACK HOLDEN: And if you’re not really into neverending fantasy novels with, ah, too many characters, not enough pictures, we’ll still be bringing you our usual brand of top quality radio entertainment. EUGENE WOODS: But first, we want to give a big shoutout and thank you to everyone who’s listening at Abel Township. Abel was our home for a long time, and we have many fond memories there. There were hard times, sure, sad times, but that’s not how we’ll look back at the place. Instead, we’ll remember Maxine’s laughter, Janine’s determination - JACK HOLDEN: And Sam’s terrible jokes. PHIL CHEESEMAN: Most of which you told him. JACK HOLDEN: Alright uh, Abel, we love you. We’ll miss you. We hope that after all this is over, when the world’s safe again, you can raise those old gates and we can come back home again. EUGENE WOODS: But until then - ALL FOUR TOGETHER: Stay safe out there! Codex Artefact 'Concealed Note' The Radio hosts found this in the bottom of a box of biscuits they were supposed to give out at a settlement a few miles further on. Jrw brxu wudqvplvvlrqv. Wkdqnv iru wkh lqir uh: dppr. Vkdoo slfn xs dqg brxu uhzdug dzdlwv brx. L’g ihho hpeduudvvhg derxw wkh flskhu exw wkhvh qlwzlwv duh wrr glp wr zrun lw rxw. Dphold. To solve the riddle replace every letter with the letter 3 places before it in the alphabet (Caesar cipher). The note then reads: Got your transmissions. Thanks for the info re: ammo. Shall pick up and your reward awaits you. I'd feel embarrassed about the cipher but these nitwits are too dim to work it out. Amelia. '' Category:Mission Category:Season Three